Heart

If there's one thing I want
It's for my heart to die.
It gives me more pain than joy.
Caring is a waste
Loving is a myth
There isn't such a thing.
It's ephemeral joy
Is not worth the eternal pain
You let yourself go
And you get stomped all over.
Cold
It's cold here.
And I am done.

Her.

Sometimes I wonder
why do I fall
the way I do
I'm  not sure
I wish I didn't
But I don't know any other way
This is how I am
And I have come to accept that
My front means nothing to me
But everything to everyone else.
I was doing well
I thought I had changed
But then I met her.
Her smile
Once again reminded me
of the purity in this world
of the good in this world
her eyes were deeper than the ocean
I felt like I was floating in.
I held back
Conditioned to doing that
and to protect myself
But she kept showing me the way
Back to finding myself
The way I used to love
wholeheartedly
fearlessly
and youthfully.
I didn't think I'd feel this way
Maybe because I didn't want to
But who am I kidding
It's only me here
I have always wanted this.
It's all I want.
To get lost with her
But what if I get hurt
I wouldn't survive that.
Do I take this chance.
I want to dive in
submerge myself
in that feeling that's called love.
Is it worth the risk ?
I wish I knew.
I want her.

Pity

It was a cold foggy night
The look of pity
At my desperate eyes
Had me realize
That I'm just an echo
In what could have
 Very well been a reflection
 Of a man I think I am
 But am not.
I am sad, lonely and tired.
I don't know how to fill this void
This emptiness
It fills up with despair
With anger, with hate
My rationality has abandoned me
I have given up on love
I have rejected love
Be careful with a girl's heart
It is strong, resilient
And it has left me here
At this point
Alone
Cold
and hopeless.

Redeem

It's never too late
to be who you want to be
to live the way you want to live
and to love with an open heart.
It takes time.
It takes courage.
And above all
It takes resolve.
A will to fight
to be firm
to know what you want
and to not stop wanting it.
Sacrifice not what you want
but what they want of you.
Redeem yourself.
You owe your life that much.
You owe me that much.
You aren't alone
in this constant struggle
raging inside of you,
it begs to be heard
it begs to be fed.
Listen to that voice
and you will love.

Abstract

stay with me
for a while
just until dawn
let me study you
for thats all i know
feed off of me
thats how
i want to love you.

the hot noon sun
smiles down at her
so she lays
lays down
and no one can do better
vixen on pills
hopping on a feather
only to be eaten
by a screaming
butterfly.

ill be on your side
but the ex
the ex girlfriend
you know how it is
she's evil
so i ran
only to swallow
all over again
the abysmal
hole
what they call
blood.

Halo

The end
look back
obscured frames of dust.

Coco

my swetheart
when i look at you
i see love
i see the most caring heart
i see all the love the world has to give
i see someone so pure
that it instills my faith in life
i love you
more than you ll ever know
more than i can fathom.
forever and always
you will be in my heart
and know that
there'll always be a little boy
who loves you
more than he is capable of
more than his faith in himself
more than you love him.
time spent with you
is time cherished
when i see you move
the rapture
it captivates me
it makes me want to jump and scream
that you love me
that i have you by my side
that im feeling more love than anyone else
and that i love you back.
your tears sear through my heart
affecting every nerve in my body
wanting to hold you
close
and never letting go.
i want you to only smile
to be happy
to live this life to the fullest
i want you to be the happiest person on earth
i want to get lost in your hair
in your fragrance
in your arms.
i love you
so much so
it hurts
but i grow in that pain
wanting to love you even more
your touch
your kiss
your skin
trembles my body
wanting to lustfully entice you
to engulph you
to take you to another realm of existence
to love you madly
to feel you deeply
to hold you tightly
and to then kiss you softly.
when our bodies are one
i feel more connected
spiritually and emotionally
than i have ever felt.
you have taken over my heart
and every cell in me
im yours
truly and wholly.